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To-Listen
Room to breathe.
Space to be heard.
Growing up with an unfamiliar name meant always having to explain myself. Always filling the silence. Then I realized — my parents never rushed me to talk. They just gave me space. That realization changed everything. So I built To-Listen.
An online community built around listening.
FOUNDER / TO-LISTEN
PAUSE. REPEAT. ASK.
Social anxiety. Awkward silences. The urge to explain myself away. Then I noticed — my parents never pressured me to fill the gaps. That’s when I understood: real listening means giving people room to breathe.
It began with the space my parents gave me.
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A conversation from To-Listen. Identifying details hidden.
02 / GRADE 10
What changed
A girl wrote to me after her friends deleted posts about her. She wondered whether their friendship had ever been real. My reply began with a hug and an acknowledgment of her hurt. I was learning to slow down, listen closely, and make room for someone’s feelings before offering my own perspective.
Making space for people
to feel heard.
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03 / TODAY
Where we are
Three years. 30K+ followers. 500+ young people supported through DMs. Strict confidentiality. A community that grew because someone decided to just listen.
30K+
followers
500+
young people supported through DMs
3 years
of listening
2023–2025: approximate counts recalled by founder. 2026: account count in October. Figures supplied in the project materials.
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THE PRACTICE
Pause. Repeat. Ask.
A small practice that changes how I listen.
01
Pause
Take three seconds before responding. Don’t rush to fill the silence.
02
Repeat
Repeat the key words they used. Let them know you’re actually listening.
03
Ask
Ask questions before giving advice. Sometimes they just need to be heard, not fixed.
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FROM MESSAGES TO LETTERS
Beyond the screen
I carried what I’d learned into handwritten letters, becoming pen pals with children in rural Guizhou. One girl shared a fear she’d never voiced before: disappointing her parents. In my reply, I began with a question, giving her room to tell me more.
Listening, carried into the world beyond the screen.
Letters are intentionally blurred to protect the writers’ privacy.
“Whenever I unfold their letters, I pause for three extra seconds. I’m learning to leave space for their words before adding my own.”
IRENE / ON LEARNING TO LISTEN
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